Monday, April 2, 2012

Fun With April Fools At Wizards

Oh Wizards, trying to tease the old schoolers with your mock article lineup for the April issues of Dragon and Dungeon eh? Call me a heretic, but I would've seriously read these:

Greyhawk 2023 Mini-Campaign
By John Rossomangno
Imagine the World of Greyhawk in the distant future, where the clones of Bigby, Melf, and other legendary heroes wage war against tyrannical dragon-cyborgs, Far Realm invaders, and other threats. This mini-campaign gives you everything you need to get your new campaign started!
 
April Fool or not, sign me up!
 
Mordenkainen’s Futuristic Adventure
By Bruce R. Cordell
The city of Greyhawk is a smoldering crater, but all is not lost! In the dungeons below the ruins of Castle Greyhawk, Mordenkainen’s clone has discovered a portal to a “lost level” and clues to a time-travel machine built by the archmage Zagyg. A D&D adventure for characters of levels 10–14.
 
Let me guess, the crater was created by the rolling rampaging Doomgrinder and Mordenkainen is going to time travel to 1998 Earth and kill Steve Miller before he can write the module.
 
Last Voyage of the Princess Ark 
By Robert J. Schwalb
The Princess Ark, a legendary flying ship, has crashed! Explore the wreckage to find out what happened, and loot the bodies of the dead. A D&D adventure set in the world of Mystara for characters of levels 1–3.
 
Sure it's not Greyhawk, but the Princess Ark is a beloved article series from old. I'm sure Bruce Heard would get a chuckle from this one too.
 
Module V1
By Tracy Hickman
A year ago, a small group of Wizards employees visited the old TSR warehouse in Lake Geneva. Amid the boxes of old files and contracts, they found an unpublished adventure manuscript by Tracy Hickman combining the tropes of Vikings and Norse mythology with old-school tomb exploration. An AD&D 2nd Edition adventure for characters of levels 8–10.
 
Again, sign me up for this April fool. Back in the day me and my friends would've waited in line to buy this at a convention!
 
Bazaar of the Bizarre: Thingamajigs of the Barrier Peaks
By David Chalker
Nothing good ever came out of the Barrier Peaks . . . until now. If you’re ready to introduce futuristic alien weaponry to your campaign, this article is for you.
 
What is it about Greyhawk that inspires people to be silly? Needless to say, I would read this article if given a chance, heck I'd make it our next Postfest topic over at Canonfire if I didn't think they'd revoke my forum priveleges.
 
And the biggest gut punch in this silly non-official holiday:
 
Wormy
By David A. Trampier
The famous D&D comic strip, last seen in Dragon #132, returns!
 
Messin' with Wormy is like messing with my emotions. Not cool Wizards. Not cool....
 
 
 

3 comments:

Mystic Scholar said...

"Let me guess, the crater was created by the rolling rampaging Doomgrinder and Mordenkainen is going to time travel to 1998 Earth and kill Steve Miller before he can write the module."

Damn! Count me in! Anything to save our beloved Greyhawk!

Mwahahahahaha!

Timothy Brannan said...

I'd play the hell of of Greyhawk 2023.

I loved the real article they did years ago on Greyhawk 2000.

Eric said...

I found the article in minor poor taste, particularly the Princess Ark gag. Mystara's corpse has been looted and used by 4e books since it was first published, and never once was attribution honored. Instead it was renamed at placed 4e's new generesetting.

What would have made this actually funny would be to have said the Princess Arc crashed in Nentyr Vale.