St. Louis Blues Win the Stanley Cup

Warning: Non-gaming related post ahead!

WOOOO! Greetings, my Greyhawk friends! If you've known me for any length of time, you'll know I have three obsessions. One is the World of Greyhawk (naturally) the other is the comic, Mighty Thor, and the other is hockey, namely the St. Louis Blues of the NHL. This week they won the Stanley Cup in a decisive game 7 over Boston Bruins. The same Boston Bruins who swept the Blues in four games 49 years ago. I'm almost 47, so that's how long this quest for redemption has been going on for our fan base. This is like the century-long struggle that was recently ended by Chicago Cubs fans in baseball.

Not only did they win 16 games to take the prize, they had to claw all the way from last place in the league in January, to get to the playoffs. How is that in D&D terms? Your character just got beat up going through a dungeon, then with one hit point left and a broken sword, you just rolled a bunch of nat-20's to slay a dragon. Okay that may be extreme, but it is definitely in the same realm as the 1980 U.S. Olympic team defeating the USSR.

At any rate, when it comes to my favorite three things, 2019 has been a damn fine year for me so far. I got to be on a Greyhawk panel with many of my friends at Gary Con, I got to see movie Thor kick ass one more time in Avengers: Infinity War, and now, my favorite hockey team finally lifted the most-difficult trophy to win in all of sports! I'm gushing with pride, my head is still in the clouds and I'm happy to shout it out on the internet: St. Louis Blues, Stanley Cup Champions!

Blood Bowl in Greyhawk

My friends and I have recently got back into the sports groove with the newest edition of the boardgame/videogame Blood Bowl. Before I get too far have a peek at this old post I made about Greyhawk Rugby; that's what Blood Bowl should be all about: a mix of fantasy and modern sports. Below is a list of team names for a Greyhawk themed tweak of my inter-college Rugby League campaign, instead cast as a regional league more along the lines of the multi-racial Blood Bowl game.

Human: "Free City of Greyhawk Griffons"
The city has a lesser collegiate league still and their best athletes compete abroad. The Free City Arena is still the best venue to play in all the central lands.

Orc: "Blackthorn Bandits"
The Orcish Empire of the Pomarj likely has many teams, however this lair of humanoids in the Gnarley Forest is much closer to the action. Only the league keeps them relatively peaceful.

Dwarf: "Greysmere Anvils"
Greysmere is one of three dwarven teams out of the Abbor Alz Mountains.

Skaven: "Undercity Gnashers"
There is no Skaven race per se in Greyhawk so this is a team of vile wererats hailing from the sewers of Greyhawk.

High Elf: "Canryell Lances"
Celene may currently be isolationist but the fringes elven communities still have contact and interaction with other realms, including this one on the edge of the Wild Coast.

Bretonian: "Free City of Dyvers Bannermen"
Dyvers' rivalry with the Gem of the Flanaess continues in this league. Their history as the former capital of the Kingdom of Furyondy lives on in their team name.

Halfling: "Elmshire Slingers"
This very short and soft team is more interested in the festivities and post game meals than the game itself.

Goblin: "Harrgrek Grinders"
This group of goblins in the Cairn Hills gets out to compete just to show their orcish masters they can't be pushed around.

Chaos: "Mastryne Marauders"
This group of mysteriously mutated men have come out of the Wild Coast to bring the pain.

Amazon: "Hardby Brawlers" 
The Despotrix of Hardby has assembled the toughest, roughest women in the domain to be on her all-female squad.

Lizardmen: "Mistmarsh Maws"
Emerging from the swamp is an amazingly capable set of lizardmen athletes. Who knew they had talent?

Necromantic: "Inverness Souleaters"
This dreadful team just started showing up. The Ghost Tower continues to surprise.

Wood Elf: "Clan Meldarin Archers"
Another remote elven team from the Gnarley. They compete just because they don't want the high elves to get all the glory.

Undead: "Castle Greyhawk Deathless"
Apparently the famous ruins has issued out some skeletal players ready to compete, but who is the manager?

Greyhawk Olympics



The official time keeper
of the Greyhawk Olympics

The London Olympics are over and I don't know if everyone was into them (I myself like to watch niche sports) but it got me thinking about the events specifically and how the various nations of the Flanaess would fare in them. Believe or not this topic has come up on the Canonfire forums before and one of my players actually once suggested an Olympics for my Greyhawk campaign, so this crazy idea isn't all mine. Furthermore, Greyhawk has a few deities that lend themselves well to athletic competition (Kord for one). Anyhow, never mind the logisitics, politics or magic of the Flanaess for this exercise, just assume peace has broke out for a week and everyone has arrived at Greyhawk City during the summer of 600 CY. Here's my off the cuff results (of a select series of events), feel free to agree or disagree...

Diving: Irongate (gold), Lordship of the Isles (silver), Ekbir (bronze)
Swimming: Keoland (gold), Onnwal (silver), Nyrond (bronze)
Gymnastics: Scarlet Brotherhood (gold), Highfolk (silver), Veluna (bronze)
Volleyball: Idee (gold), Duchy of Urnst (silver), County of Urnst (bronze)
Equestrian: Plains of the Paynims (gold), Nyrond (silver), Rovers of the Barrens (bronze)
Wrestling: Ket (gold), Hold of Stonefist (silver), Bandit Kingdoms (bronze)
Archery: Celene (gold), Highfolk (silver), Sunndi (bronze)
Sprinting: Wild Coast (gold) , Sunndi (silver), Verbobonc (bronze)
Marathon: Dry Steppes (gold), Blackmoor (silver), Wolf Nomads (bronze)
Pole Vault: Dyvers (gold), Tusmit (silver), Bissel (bronze)
Long Jumping: Duchy of Ulek (gold), Grand Duchy of Geoff (silver), Duchy of Tenh (bronze) 
Shot Put: Bone March (gold), Hold of Stonefist (silver), Iuz (bronze)
Hammer Throw: Principality of Ulek (gold), Ratik (silver), Irongate (bronze)
Javelin Throw: Yeomanry (gold), Tiger Nomads (silver), Perrenland (bronze)
Fencing: Greyhawk City (gold), Rel Astra (silver), Shield Lands (bronze)
Football (Soccer) Furyondy (gold), Greyhawk City (silver), Great Kingdom (bronze)
Judo/Taekwondo: Scarlet Brotherhood (gold), Ekbir (silver), Zeif (bronze)
Rowing: Snow Barbarians (gold), Frost Barbarians (silver), Zeif (bronze)
Sailing: Spindrifts (gold), Hold of Sea Princes (silver), Sea Barons (bronze)
Shooting (Crossbow): Perrenland (gold), County of Ulek (silver), The Pale (bronze)
Weightlifting: Ull (gold), Iuz (silver), Pomarj (bronze)

Not Greyhawk Related...

Yeah, sorry folks, this isn't about Greyhawk, but I can't help but post about my second favorite pastime, baseball. This weekend the St. Louis Cardinals won the National League pennant and will face the Texas Rangers of the American League in the World Series. Why is this victory significant to me? Besides being a fan of the Redbirds all my life of course, this League Championship is historic. Just for fun, I'll try to put it in terms even a gamer can appreciate; in the realm of sports stats the Cardinal's season was improbable as the most improbable of D&D events.

To start, the Cardinals lost their ace pitcher in spring training. This would be like the DM taking away your Fighter character's best magic sword before the adventure starts. The Cardinals pushed on and by the mid point in the season (80 or so games) they were flagging behind in 3rd place behind the Brewers and the Pirates due to a terrible closing pitcher who kept blowing their wins. Imagine now your Fighter is trying to defeat say...pirates in combat (with his second best magic weapon) but he can't win because his team-mate the affable Bard can't seem to get the finishing blow. The closer was dumped, new pitchers were acquired to fill in and the Cardinals hung in there- and with the strong bat of the "comeback player of the year" they started to climb back up the standings. This was sorta like dropping the Bard, getting a new Rogue's gallery of elves, halfling and dwarves, then the old Cleric of the group suddenly acquires a Girdle of Storm Giant Strength and heals the entire party back to maximum hit points.

Despite their rise, the Cardinals still didn't win their division (damn Brewers Guild), and the wild card spot in the playoffs was 10 and half games out of reach with barely a month left to play. In D&D terms, your Fighter and Cleric are kicking ass and taking names but they are out of healing spells and the Fighter is down to his last few hit points. One more hit and he's dead. But the Cardinals didn't die. They won the wild card playoff spot on the last game of the season (162 games long mind you) partly due to their tenacity in September and partly due to one of the greatest collapses in all of sports by the team they chased, the Atlanta Braves. Yeah, so against all odds your character narrowly averts death because all the remaining monsters couldn't get a single hit despite having a better attack bonus than you while every one of your attack rolls did maximum damage. All this transpires and the party makes it to the lair of the dragon...

The Cardinals being the wild card had to play the best team in the first round, the Philadelphia Phillies. The same Phillies who won 102 games and were the best team in all baseball, all season long. Their line up is a veritable all-star team, especially in the pitching department. In comparison, your Fighter sizes up the Dragon and realizes it is not only a Great Wyrm, but it has multiple attacks per round, each doing enough damage to kill a PC in a single hit. Do the Cards back down? No! They out play and out maneuver the Phillies, taking them to the deciding final game where the Card's #2 pitcher (arguably #1) put on the game of the season, defeating the Philly's #1 pitcher in a complete game duel, ending in a 1-0 Cards win. This is like the Fighter, the Cleric, and the cast of demihumans all wounding the Dragon but falling in combat anyway. But not all is lost, the party Wizard drinks a Potion of Heroism, picks up the Fighter's magic sword-then goes toe to toe with the creature for nine rounds, eventually rolling a "natural 20" to kill it.

The Cardinals advanced to the second round to face the Milwaukee Brewers, who won their division and looked to be every bit as potent as the Phillies especially with their home field advantage and MVP players. The Dragon was slain and it was time to take the treasure home-but no! There was still the matter of getting out of the lair and defeating the evil Guild who now waited outside to steal your hard fought loot. The Cardinals from the get-go lost the first game and it sure looked bleak, but they stole the second game and from there it seemed the Brewer's confidence was shaken. They were out scored, out pitched and worst of all made way too many errors. In the end, it was the Cardinals relief pitchers who stole the show not their starters. Back in D&D, your Fighter, all levelled up from the Dragon encounter, faced the Guild's best henchmen and mercenaries. Sure they traded blows at first but then the villains started to roll an improbable string of "natural 1" fumbles sealing their own doom. The dependable demihumans jumped in and finished the Guild off with ease after that. Yes, anti-climatic compared to the Dragon's lair, but a victory nonetheless. The Cardinals, written off by most experts and even their own fans (Yeah me too) made it to the World Series! I say, what more do they have to do to win it all? Here's to hoping that Fighter gets to bring a big trophy back to his castle when this quest is over!

Update (10/28) Welp...the Fighter brought the trophy back to his castle after all! But first, he had go through an Epic Ranger who was barring his way. At first the Fighter was dishing out big damage, but then the Ranger had the upper hand with two straight rounds of punishment. Then miraculously the Cleric's young protégé stepped in and TWICE healed the Fighter back up from near death at -2 hit points. The Fighter summoned up his best critical swing and killed the Epic Ranger in the seventh round. Classic!

Update 4/20/2021: This was very thrilling to re-read 10 years later. I'm just sayin'.